Dear Princess Meggerz,

I would eat nothing but dog turds for 4 months, eat 20 urinal cakes from a public mens room, tattoo you name on my dick, put tabasco sauce on my balls everyday for a year, wear a chastity belt, suck off and take it in the ass from 20 gay men just to lick the asshole of the last guy you had sex with. Unfortunately I live in Australia. I will be visiting in June though. Anyway you probably wouldn’y pick me anyway, I’m too sexy. But just know if we were ever in a room together I would do ANYTHING for you. Now, excuse me while I jack off to the thought of you reading this. lol

-Oh the things he would do for Me but he’s too sexy.

Edit: the follow up email, “You didn’t say you were going to post these. So not cool. Hope you get stung by a bee and you kick your shin on a tow-bar.”