How Meggerz Got A Boyfriend

My phone rings. It’s Niteflirt.
“Oh, fuck me.” I think.
I was taking my 45 minute ME time before my shower and seriously debating on ignoring the call. -Alas, I pick up.
“Hello. This is Niteflirt. A customer is on the line. This customer is calling your listing in Women Fetish Femdom, to your member name Princess Meggerz. The rate for this call will be $6.99 per minute. To accept this call…”
Begrudgingly, I hit one.

He’s forign with a thick accent and the connection’s shotty. I tell him to call back hoping he gives up and takes his ‘white American goddess’ fantasy elsewhere. They’re usually only good for a few bucks anyways. Apparently wages are shit in third world middle eastern countries, but what do I know?

“I had a dream about you. You and I were married and we had a child.”
W.T.F.
Uhhh. No.
“What makes you think I’d even consider marrying you?” I ask.
“why not..?”

We had a boy. His name was “Zayrod” – he meant Jared. He wants me to know more about him. He is paying $6.99 to reintroduce himself.

LOL
He wants to know why I am laughing at him.
LOL

“Send me a tribute and you can be my boyfriend…” LOL
“Yes Goddess.”

“Send me another tribute and I will call you ‘baby.'”
“Yes Goddess.”

Right around this point our previous call starts to come back to me and I know he’s good for even more cash.

He decides to divulge his “creepy” fantasy to me. His words, not mine. I’m at that point where no fantasy creeps me out anymore, clearly.
He asks me to fart in his face (cuz I’ve never gotten that one before). Because it’s romantic. It’s romantic when you send me tributes, baby.

We’re about a good 30 minutes into the call at this point and my boyfriend’s beginning to grow on me.
He then asks me for a different platform to send tribute on. “I fucking hate these sites taking your money!” he exclaims. My kind of boyfriend, let me tell you.

Eventually-
One thousand dollars later, “This call lasted 62 minutes. $289.95 has been credited to your account bringing you back to the advisor menu…” I can also hum the holding music if need be.

Anyway, moral of my story? Answer that phone! Money aside, I made myself a boyfriend. 😉

(Incase you’ve been living under a rock, start at the bottom and read to the top.)
*** Feel free to RT and reply to my story on twitter. The more the merrier.